Holiday Short Stories Read online

pregnant again, but in all likelihood it would either kill her or the baby, to try bringing it to full term, so we opted she have the hysterectomy the doctor advised, giving us no chance of ever trying for that boy we both wanted so badly. I thought about what that first therapist said again and even considered giving it a try. I thought of all that would be lost if my son wasn't my son. Who would carry on the family legacy once I was gone if he... no he didn't deserve to be forced into a mold he didn't belong in. he was a person the same as his mother and sisters, the same as I was, and he deserved to have the right to define who he, or she, was and if it meant I didn't have a son so be it, he, or she, was still my child and I had no right to force them to be something they weren't.

  For all I knew a few months, or maybe even a few years, down the road little Kevin might decide he was a boy, and what damage might I do between now and then if I forced the issue. After the meeting with the second therapist I felt much better about the decision to allow Angela to decide who she was for herself. I wouldn't be the first father to not have male children to carry on their name, and I was sure I wouldn't be the last either. I had brothers who had sons so it wasn't like my fathers line stopped with me it would continue, but to have a son of my own! I would miss having someone to take fishing, hunting, and all the other things fathers did with their sons. But what if I did have all girls? What said they couldn't go hunting or fishing, and really enjoy doing those things, and still be girls doing them? They were sure to find husbands and I would have my sons anyway right? I had so many things going through my mind so fast I needed to find a place to think and let them run their course. I saw a little church and pulled in thinking maybe a little prayer was in order, as well as all the thinking. I didn't know if it would be open, but there were cars in the lot so figured I wouldn't lose anything trying, and if nothing else I could always say a prayer there in the car.

  As I reached the door it opened so I walked in and found this short heavy set man standing there mopping the floor. He looked up and smiled saying he felt God was leading someone to his church, so he thought he might take the time to mop while he waited. I asked if it would be alright if I knelt at the altar and talked to God for a few minutes to see what he had in mind for me. He lead me down to the altar and knelt beside me bowing his head in prayer. I prayed in silence and started crying as I felt God telling me talking to this man was what I needed more then anything else at the moment. I looked over and started to say I needed to talk about a problem I had concerning one of my children, not able to get the words out.

  He reached over putting his arm around my shoulders telling me God had chosen me for a reason and as long as I followed his leading I would be blessed beyond anything I could imagine. I tried again to let him know the problem I had this time managing to get enough out he understood some of it. Enough he asked what I intended to do. I looked up at the cross and said I didn't know, but I did know my baby was Gods child as well. I wanted Gods will in this and if it meant I didn't have a son I knew God would bless me with more then I could hope for anyway. He told me there would be many who no matter what I did would condemn me for my choice, but as long as I stood firm in my faith God would always see I had the strength to continue. I asked him what he thought of those who were transsexual, if he thought they were condemned for believing they were other than what the physical evidence said they were.

  “We are all creations of a perfect God. He created us in his image, after his likeness. In the beginning his creation was perfect, but then sin entered in and the creation became flawed. I cannot judge what is or isn't right as I myself have flaws that need fixing. Is your child male or female? I don't know. I know your child has a better understanding of their gender then anyone but God. I know you will do what you believe is right for your child hopefully keeping God in the forefront of what happens. The best anyone can do, is accept that one persons life is theirs, and while we may have some influence the best we can hope for is they love God and walk with him on the path he has given them.”

  I bowed my head again thanking God for this time with his chosen man that I might gain the wisdom to do what he wanted not what I wanted.

  Today, Allison, is a computer consultant the same as me, she also has three girls, who all think mom and dad are the best. Brittany, is a house wife, with three sons and a daughter all who adore their parents immensely. Angela, is Angela, and has had SRS. She is seeing a man she met in college while she was going for her teaching certificate following her mother into teaching. We have never hidden that she is transsexual, but we don't broadcast it either. There aren't many who know she wasn't born a female physically, though she is large for most women. She never did like sports other than fishing, and was never shy about baiting her own hook, or taking a fish off when she caught one. Her boyfriend on first hearing she was transsexual shied away a little at first, but after talking to me and finding out she has always been a girl has learned what he can about her and those who are fighting GID. I feel I have been blessed beyond anything I could imagine as all my girls give me a hug every time we see each other telling me how lucky they are to have me for their father.

  Catherine, found it hard to accept Angela, was a girl for quite a while, until she went to register the girls for school and they refused to accept Angela was a girl and therefore needed to be treated as such. When she told me what happened I laughed because I knew she had in that instant accepted we had three girls and nothing we did could change it. Catherine and I have both become active in the trans community here offering what help we can to families that find themselves in the same situation we did. Letting them know they aren't alone, that God does still love them and their child.

  Did I get my dream? No, I got so much more then I could have ever dreamed of, I have a family who I love and loves me. I have three very beautiful daughters, and a very beautiful wife. I have everything I could have dreamed for and more besides.

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  Christmas Snow!

  “There's always snow for Christmas, isn't there daddy?”

  How could I tell them living in Phoenix wasn't like when we lived in South Dakota. I didn't want to lie to them, but what was I supposed to do? Christmas had always been with snow, and now... now it was eighty degrees and looking to be even hotter tomorrow. Three days till Christmas and the temperature on the rise.

  “Daddy, we are going to have snow, aren't we? How will Santa bring all the presents, if there isn't any snow?”

  Was I going to have to tell them that to? How could this be happening? So young and to have all those childhood dreams shattered all because I wanted a warmer climate to work on a tan. Eight years I had been in South Dakota, eight years of a weak tan to no tan and back. We hadn't taken the kids into consideration when taking the transfer, we thought of us, and what it would mean to us. And now with Christmas just around the corner we find ourselves wishing just once, we thought more about the kids then just the tax write off they were to us. Sure we could maybe take them up to Flagstaff if it snowed up there, but what about Santa, how were we supposed to tell them Santa would be able to find us even if we didn't get snow?

  Snow, that white stuff that makes us so miserable, yet the kids loved it. What was it that made us so miserable about snow anyway? I had grown up with more white Christmases then I could count, and when it didn't look like we would have snow I remembered asking my dad the same questions I was now being asked. I guess we had forgotten what it was like to have four seasons. We took this transfer thinking about how great it would be to not need the furnace. That was proving to be true, but the bill for the air conditioner was still so high we almost weren't able to have a Christmas at all. Yes our parents sent presents for the kids but what if...

  I looked at the long range forecast and wanted to cry. Hot, hot, hot, and even hotter. No break in sight from all this heat, and Christmas in three days.

  “I'm sure Santa will find us just fine honey,” I told my daughter as I tucked her into bed for the second t
ime that night.

  Christmas! I was beginning to hate the thought of Christmas what was there to be merry about. All the lines of people who just had to have the latest and greatest of everything. Fighting over who got it first. Where was the goodwill? I tried to read the story of the first Christmas, only to find so many things always getting in the way.

  I took the girls shopping in the morning since they all said they had a few things left to pick up then they would have all their shopping done and be able to concentrate on other things. I let the girls all go off in their own direction since none of them wanted me around and figured I would see what I could find to finish off the list I had.

  I watched as people hurried this way and that bumping into each other, carrying packages trying not to drop them. I watched as one little boy tried to hand out papers and decided I wanted to know what it was he seemed so intent in handing out. As I approached he handed out the last and took off. I waited and the people he had given it to smiled and handed it to someone else who smiled and passed it on. I needed to get it and the harder I tried the farther away it got. I sat down to rest and wait